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* Young people are not staying in marriages anymore
Tolu Odukoya-Ijogun is the daughter of celebrated Bimbo Odukoya of blessed memory. Odukoya-Ijogun released few singles in 2011 and now she explains that she is ready to take her music career to the next level. In this interview with Ifeoma Ononye, the beautiful singer who recently got ordained as a pastor, talks about her passion for God, relationships, marriages, and family.
This recent song is not your first single, you had one with Onyeka Onwenu, what year was that?
Yes, I had a single in 2011 with Onyeka Onwenu. It’s titled Gifted and Proud. We didn’t make a lot of publicity about it. It was mostly for my mother’s foundation. But we did a video and the video had a lot of viewings on YouTube and even a lot of airplay on TV. I’ve always been singing. My mum actually prayed when she was pregnant with me that I would be a singer. So I’ve been singing in church for a very long time. However, I think this would be the best time to stick to my ministry because I do see music as my ministry.
What inspired your new single?
Well, it’s a simple song of gratitude. When I think about all God has done for me, everything I’ve been through, how He has remained faithful, I think about how I can tell him how grateful I am. I think to myself, how can I giveback in return? The human way of showing gratitude is doing something; and I thought giving Him my heart would do it. My heart is the most important part of me as a human being. If I can give God that; that shows how much I’m thankful for all that He’s done.
Is it a gospel song as well like the first one?
Yes, it is gospel and inspirational song.
What makes this the best time to release the single?
I’m married; I have children and at this point in my life, I start wanting to do things that are tangible and meaningful. Because you might spend the rest of your life working, but how many people are you affecting by that. And I realise that when I sing or worship, I touch people and I turn people back to God. It’s my own way of ministering. I might not be the most eloquent person at preaching the word, but I believe when I sing, I get people to see God and feel God. I know it’s now because I’ve done the necessary things. As young women, we want to get married; I’m married. Then we want to have kids; I’ve had kids. I feel like I’ve laid the foundational blocks. I’ve done everything that I needed to do humanly. This is the time to focus on my spiritual life.
Do you have an album?
No, but I have a single. In about 2-3 weeks I’ll put up a video. I am trying to put up as many singles as possible so I can put them all together for an album hopefully by next year.
Hopefully, very soon. The challenge is that I’m juggling work. You know I’m a mother, I’m a wife and there is church. Also, I have a blog for women and relationships. So I’m juggling a lot of things right now but I’m praying with the help of God that by the third quarter of next year, there should be an album. But before then, you’re definitely going to be hearing a lot more from me. I’m going to be putting out as many singles as I can, doing videos and pushing out songs. I’m not going to be quiet anymore. I left a big gap from 2011 to 2016, and that’s not going to happen anymore. I think I’ve done the needful in those years, it’s time to really focus.
Why the interest in relationships?
I got a backlash on Facebook recently where people were saying I’m not my mother, so why do I feel I can talk about relationships? And it’s almost inevitable. I grew up in a family where my parents were very much into relationships. My father would always counsel married couples. So would my mum. And you saw her on TV with her show, Single and Married. So I have lived in that environment where people are talking about broken marriages, what we should not do or what we should do. How a wife should behave, how a husband should behave and then, I didn’t get it. Now that I’m married, it finally makes sense. Sometimes, when you hear something, you accept it without any basis to really understand it better. Now, being married and understanding everything my mom used to say then, and what my dad still says now, I feel I have a mandate to help the single people before they enter; to let them know that there are some particular questions they need to ask or talk about, some foundational questions they need to ask or blocks they need to build before they enter this thing. It is almost my own way of guiding. And also with the married women, everything I have learnt in my four years of marriage, I also share with them. Right now, a lot of young people are not staying in their marriages anymore. If it’s not working, they jump out. And that’s how our own generation has been sensitised. But one thing I’m learning, I’m very practical, and what people will see on my relationship blog is that I am very straightforward. I don’t really hide under the umbrella of spirituality but I try to relate things practically to life. So I understand it better and then I can actually do what it’s asking me to do. So what I try to do is bring it down to our level, explain in our own language and get them to understand and just try to make everybody happy.
Are you not bothered about people thinking you’re just trying to copy your mom?
I can never be bothered. My mom was Bimbo Odukoya. I’m Tolu Odukoya-Ijogun. We’re two very different people. If I want to be like her, I’ve failed in my ministry because there can only be one Bimbo Odukoya. There can never be another one. And there can only be one Tolu Odukoya-Ijogun and that’s me. I believe that I’ve been called to it. And I’m a very strong believer that time will tell. You know, there are things that people start and after a while, yousay yes, this person was meant to do it. It’s something that I naturally gravitate towards. And like I said, I can never be her.
What is different about you?
The way and manner she went about her things is definitely not the way and manner I will go about mine. The experiences that she had are not the experiences that I have. I have been blessed to have learnt under her. I saw her at home; I saw her in church. I saw who she was 360, so I have a view that most people don’t have. Seeing that and now being in the same situation is almost like I already know the right thing to do. I have to do them but at the same time, I have to justify them in my own way. In the way young people think today because like I said, people don’t have time anymore. If it’s not working, it’s not working. But then again, from a Christian perspective, I have to see why it’s not working. I then take everything momsie has said and break it down. Now I’m understanding because I’m breaking it down. Now I realise that love is not a feeling. It is a decision. You choose to love. You choose to constantly love. You choose to forgive. You choose to make it work. It’s not about how youfeel. What I do is, I try to point out to those who are coming in that yes, you could have feelings. That’s good. But it has a lot more to do with your decision and your maturity in what you’re trying to get into. So the way I would look at it and the way I would put it down would be totally different from Pastor Bimbo.
I know you’re a pastor and music is also your calling, how do you cope with both?
Honestly for me, ever since that title came I see a lot of things differently and you know being a pastor there are so many do’s and don’ts. People are watching and all but as soon as it happened something naturally just changed and one thing I thank God for is my husband, he’s been so supportive all the way, he’s so happy about it and that makes me open to the whole possibility. Like I say God doesn’t call the qualified he qualifies the call. So I then know it’s not by me. If God deemed me fit for the post He will. Honestly, in my heart I am so expectant I am so opened and you know it only I believe it only gets better by generation. If my parents could do as much as they’ve done I believe God that by His grace will do better.